The Phone-call...

So...Tori asked me to say something for a chick night my church (HPC) was having for the middle and high-school girls last Friday night. I said yes after a little hesitation because I was soo scared. But I was at the Survivor thing for my class, camping so I convinced my teacher to let me take my phone and we found a place where there was good service for when they would call. The plan was that they were going to call me at 3 AM Swazi time, Saturday morning and I had been worrying about what I was going to say all week, Lizette was going to come outside with me and hold the flashlight. So I prepared something to say and a phone call came at 2:54 AM, I picked it up, but then it disconnected. (tori just emailed me and told me that they realized no one had international service on their phones at the service so they got Jean Ohlerking (meemaw) to call me and tell me what happened..but unfortunately it didn't come through)

I walked around the campsite a bit but no one called back....it was REALLY cold outside and I was half asleep, all I wanted to do was return to my cozy sleeping bag and get 2 more hours of sleep before they woke us up to hike, but I felt the Lord speaking to my heart, telling me to stay outside. I told Lizette, who was sleep-walking I think lol, that she could go back to sleep, that I was going to walk around for a while.

I was kind of sad at first, I was scared but looking forward to speaking, but as I sat there looking at t he stars I realized that I wasn't supposed to speak. I had planned something and was so sure of what I was going to say, but in my heart...I didn't believe what I was saying and God knew...He wanted to show me a few things that morning. I guess He's been trying to speak to me for a while, but I've been too busy to listen. It took a disconnected phone-call at 3 in the morning in a quiet place where the only people awake were me and God, for Him to get through to me.

As I sat there I began to sing, and then weep because He reminded me of my purpose here, my mission field...my friends...the 89 people sleeping in their sleeping bags all around me. My heart broke because I love them so much and if I love them that much...I can't even imagine how much God does, and how His heart breaks to see them hurting...longing...searching for the one person they need to save them and love them, but who they are so against accepting...Jesus.

I began to pray for them and to pray that God would help me and speak through me and open doors to witness to them. You know...a few days ago I was wondering why I'm here, again, and how can I even be considered to be a missionary when I'm not really involved with my parent's children ministry, what I thought was the reason I was here. I go to school just like all the other girls that I was going to speak to. I would say I live a normal life...school, soccer and more soccer, but the thing is...It is soo much harder to witness and share Christ's love with smart teenagers at an International World College where there are so many different backgrounds and religions, than at a care point where the children are starving for love and are so ready to accept Jesus into their hearts. It is hard, and we (teenagers) are STUBBORN!! ;)

So, that night, God reminded me of my purpose and that there is so much more work to be done, so many hearts to be softened, and so many more seeds to be planted. Although I didn't get to speak, it actually turned out to be a good thing because my heart was in the wrong place. I had forgotten my task and ignored God's calling in my life. I'm telling you, I have never felt the presence and love of Christ so strongly as I did at 3 Am Saturday morning and I pray that I never get that busy and caught up in useless things again that I can't hear God speaking to me.

God knew what He was doing...and He blessed another girl that night at Chick night, who got to speak and share what God has done in her life...which is AMAZING!! I wish I could have been there! But God had something else in mind for me...a one on one chat session under the clear Swazi sky. God is awesome!

Tori...see, no worries! You're the best, I LOVE YOU!! ;)