The famous words- I can't do it.

This is exactly what I have been saying over and over again the past few days. It seems like everyone I get close to and come to love here, leaves. I guess that comes with being a nissionary kid, but I didn't think it would be this hard to say good-bye. I was thinking maybe I should try not to get to attached to people, but I'm glad I built these relationships, ones that wouldn't exist if I weren't here.

There was this couple here, Nate and Crystal, from Las Vegas. They had been here for almost 6 months and work with Youth For Christ. They are an amazing couple, and have two sons, Judah and Micah. ADORABLE BOYS! I just met them within the past 3 months, and Crystal was descipling me and Lizette, so we were/are really close and I love crystal to death! She just found out last week that she has cancer, so they had to move back to the U.S. It seems so sudden, and unexpected. They were confused and sad to leave but know that God has bigger plans, so they are trusting Him and being the strong Christians that they are through it. I look up to Crystal soo much for being so strong and faithful, she is so scared, but chooses to trust God. I wish I could take her place, but I know God has a huge plan and many good things, though we cannot see them now, will happen through this. Thank God, the cancer is almost 95% curable and they caught it at an early stage. SO please help me pray for her and her family. They left a lot of their stuff here, because they hope to be back when the treatment is over. It was so hard to say good-bye.

Also, Kristen and Charles are leaving and it makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. I can't picture living here without them here to run to when I was having a spiritually low time or going through struggles at school. They are like my youth pastors, and have become that to MANY people at my school, like Lizette. She loves them just as much as I do. It seems like all the people who have helped make us the Christians we are and have encouraged us in our walk with Christ are being pulled away and quite frankly, I'm scared to death. I can't do it on my own. I dont know what to do. I know God has amazing plans for their lives and I pray He blesses them abundantly, wherever He leads them next. They could never know the impact they have had on me and lizette's lives. We love them sooo much. We have cried so much together already, when they actually do leave........I donno. I really feel like giving up....but maybe this is a time where we have to learn to lean on Christ alone and grow in Him rather than lean on others to keep us strong.


Lizette put it nicely in this conversation we had yesterday:

Lizette says:
I feel so sad, maybe God wants us to lean on him but i feel as though all the people that were encouraging us to be who we are and be proud for Christ are leavng and they're leaving us in the big bad scary world......
Gabby says:
i know exactly how you feel lizzy, i feel the same way
Lizette says:
And as much as i was close to Crystal and Nate, my heart is breaking for charles and kristen
Gabby says:
im scared honestly, im so scared for them and for us. i cant do it great now im crying again
Lizette says:
Me too Gabby i don't know where we should go from here. I'm crying too
Lizette says:
I'm so sad i just wish i could see what good could come of this. This is probabaly a test for us too so we need to start praying b4 school everyday and just ask God to strengthen us and help us through because i'm not sure where we should go from here...
Lizette says:
And i think you and me should start taking the larger part of responsibility for our bible studies and make some changes to help other people just like N&C, C and K helped us


So yea....its been rough, but God is still good. God is still good. My mom told me yesterday morning that when God shuts one door, He always opens another. Me and Lizette had been praying for God to send us someone to desciple us and that could teach us more about God and the bible, and then we met Crystal and she asked if she could desciple us. It was such an answer to prayer. We were soo excited. Thats why its been so hard because we thought God had put her into our lives and now she is gone. And we love her soo much. So I had basically given up hope when she left Monday. But last night my parents got a call from a lady in the states who wants to come here and work for Childrens Cup. She is a nurse so she can help my mom with the medical side, which is exactly what she has been praying for. Then she told my mom that she desciples teenage girls, or somehting like that, and my mom almost stated crying. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. God is soo awesome. When I told Lizette today , she teared up.

I am going to miss Crystal and Charles and Kristen sooo much and I wish they didnt have to leave. Atleast with Crystal, they will probably be back when she is better. Charles and Kristen, I dont know. I love these people so so much. No one will ever take their place in my heart, but God had made more room for other people so I need to move on and trust that He will take care of us and Crystal, C and K.


Jesus, please heal Crystal completely and give her strength as she goes through treatment. Give Nate strength and wisdom as he takes care of his family and bless them abundantly.

Please be with Kristen and Charles and give them peace and strength as they take the next step in life. Help them to carry Swaziland around with them in their hearts and remember all the precious moments spent here. I know you will touch many peoples lives through them, as you did with mine. Thank you for sending them here and thank you that you have a perfect plan for all of us. Amen.